"Okay, we have to do this bit in English to make sure I understand..."

Today was our visa appointment with the Italian consulate. Now, back in February I went down to the consulate with a group of documents that seemed, from what I had read on the website, to be what was needed. The lady there (identified only as Operator 1) informed me somewhat sniffily that not only did I not have appropriate docs, but I was too early -- seems you can't apply for the visa until within 90 days of departure. Mind you, you have to have arranged everything for your year there before you can get the visa. So if you can't get the visa, you can't go for the year, and that year deposit you just put on the house... well, sorry!

She did, however, give me a long list of things I needed to have in order to prove my worthiness. So I started collecting. Original bank statements (I get all e-statements, and turns out, my email printouts aren't good enough), 3 months' worth. Original paystubs, at least 3 within the last 4 months. Completed lease agreement with Italian revenue stamps showing a rent that is reasonable given what's on the bank statements. A letter from my headmaster saying I have a job now, I am allowed to leave it for a year, and I am expected back. TWO letters from my health insurance company saying that I and the girls are covered whilst in Italy. A letter from Matthew regarding his permission for each girl to go for the year and therefore to apply for the visa. Photocopies of our passports and birth certificates as well as the originals. I feel like I'm missing something, but you get the idea. And a complete set of copies of these things for each person applying. I made 4 sets, just in case.

I made a new appointment, for today (7 May). I bought a ticket for Elise to come home for the weekend because you have to appear in person to apply ($550 for a $450 ticket, because JetBlue does not believe a 13-year-old can negotiate a direct flight by herself). I paid extra for Elise's passport to be expedited when it hadn't arrived after 12 weeks (still bitter about that). And promptly at 9:10 for a 9:14 appointment (yes, nine fourteen. I have no idea) we arrived on the 17th floor of the Federal Reserve building in Boston to petition for our visas.

Happily we were the only ones there when we arrived, because my stuff took a long time. I am proud to say that I managed to navigate almost the entire conversation in Italian (I used the verb "ho fatto" ("I did") a lot. A LOT) but as she was reading through the papers, she came to the letter from my headmaster and stopped.

"Perche' vuole Lei andare in Italia?" (Why do you want to go to Italy?)
Uh, voglio andare in Italia. Amo Italia. (Because, uh, I want to go. I like Italy.)
"Che vuole fare li?" (What are you planning to do there?)
Uh, hm. Scrivo un libro! (I'm writing a book!)
"Allora, non e' vista della residenza, e' vista del sabbatico. Le figlie non devono avere viste. Lei andra' alla Questura per fare raggiungiamento della famiglia."

My Italian is not all that great at the moment. I'm practicing, I'm listening to Italian stuff, I'm slowly working on getting back to a decent level of comprehension. But I wanted to make darn sure I understood her at this point because it really really sounded like she had just said, "The kids don't need visas." So I switched unapologetically to English.

Seems the headmaster letter says that I have been granted, not a leave of absence, but a sabbatical from school. I pointed out that I'm not with a university here and won't be there. Doesn't matter, she said, your paperwork says sabbatical, you get a sabbatical visa. That means you don't need one for the kids. You register them with the cops in Parma and get a "rejoinment of family" because they need to join you while you live there. No visa required.

She had to think I was stupid by the time we finished. I made her repeat this, in Italian and in English, like four times. Oh, and just as an added bonus: the regular visa is $176. Times three. Runs into real money pretty quickly. The sabbatico is free.

Somehow we managed to get Elise an interview at Andover later this afternoon, so the trip out was not in vain. Meanwhile, I'm just continuing to hope that my children aren't going to be illegal immigrants!